There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
