Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
