So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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