somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
