It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there was a trapeze. enough said
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
