she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
