what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
