new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
