Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
