I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
