it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
