Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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