i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
