Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
