I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
