I want you more than these girls want KFC
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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