sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
