Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
