So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
