Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize