he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
