When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
