Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
