Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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