It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
