if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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