Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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