Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
