She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
