I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
