Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
