Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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