The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
