i wish there were pregnant emoticons
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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