You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
