I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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