some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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