Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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