You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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