If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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