i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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