What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
