What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Who died my cat blue again?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
