Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
being pregnant is like rehab
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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