you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
