Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
