how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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