So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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