Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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