we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
