whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My balls are so social today.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
smell my finger.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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