My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
