I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
