You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
