Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
