Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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