she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
