We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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